You wear it well...

A recent embarrassing photo of myself has surfaced and I'd like to get out in front of the rumors before they have a chance to take off. A couple of key points:

-No, I'm not gay (not that there's anything wrong with that)

-I'm not a gay police officer

-I'm not a porn star

The photo:

My nephew Boomer has found himself in a similar conundrum. In an attempt to copy his uncle this abomination was produced:

Comparisons?